In conversation with Amrit Kapai and Vishal Parvani, best friends and stars of “Family Karma”

Amrit Kapai (left) and Vishal Parvani (right); Photo: Gizelle Hernandez/Bravo

Reality shows are typically pretty low on my need-to-watch list. Not because I don’t like them but because it’s easy to become too invested in complete strangers’ drama and the ROI for me is pretty low. But I’ll admit, Bravo’s Family Karma is one exception — I started watching because I wanted to learn more about South Asian cultures (📢 Asians are not a monolith!). But I quickly became a fan because I was genuinely rooting for all of the cast members.

Family Karma explores the personal journeys of nine young Indian American friends who navigate life, friendship, careers, family, and the duality of their South Asian American cultures. Their parents and grandparents, who lean more traditionally, complete the show’s cast and offer plenty of unsolicited but sometimes welcomed advice along the way.

I’ve become particularly fond of two of the show’s stars, Amrit Kapai and Vishal Parvani. The pair are best friends, and they’ve known one another since childhood.

“We were born about 60 days apart. I’m 60 days older and 60 days wiser,” Amrit tells me.

“Forty-five days,” Vishal says confidently and matter-of-factly.

“I think we met in ’92. I could tell you the exact date — it was my brother’s birthday and we went bowling. Vishal was, in my opinion, quiet, kind of weird, on the side — I was probably also just as weird and quiet on the side. And then we just got through life together. We graduated the same year from high school, we did the whole college thing together,” Amrit continued.

“Our parents were best friends, our brothers were best friends — it was really meant to be. We had sleepovers every single weekend. I would always ask who he had a crush on, not knowing that he liked boys.” Vishal said.

Season three of Family Karma shows Amrit and Vishal simultaneously going through their own unique struggles as they both embark down the path of marriage, “officially” (IYKYK).

Armit Kapai and his fiancé, Nicholas; Photo: Monica Schipper/Bravo

Amrit and his fiancé, Nicholas, take us behind the scenes of their bachelor party and wedding planning. Gay weddings are especially uncommon in Asian cultures, so there’s not exactly a playbook for gay Asian American ceremonies. Same-sex marriage was only legalized in the United States in 2015, and it’s still illegal in India and nearly all of Asia — Taiwan is the only country in Asia where same-sex marriages are legal.

“It goes without saying that planning a gay interracial wedding was extremely difficult. In fact, I thought the gay part of it would be stressful and tough, which it was because we didn’t really have much of an example in the past to look to, but it ended up being a little more stressful for the fact it was interracial,” Amrit said. “So it was tough. During the wedding planning process, as I’m sure Vishal can agree with, a lot of conflict arises between the two people that are getting married and the two families that are involved. But I feel like they arise even more when you’re dealing with people of different backgrounds and ethnicities because the cultures and traditions are very different.”

When asked what his advice would be for people who find themselves in his position, Amrit said, “My advice is to be very cognizant about making it an even playing field when it comes to you and your spouse-to-be. It’s the wedding of two people, not a wedding of one person or one family. It’s two people getting married and two people who have dreams and visions that they want to see come to fruition in a wedding. Try to be mindful of that. There’s no wrong way, there’s no right way, there’s your way.”

Amrit went on to say that Indian parents tend to be more involved in planning a wedding compared to American parents. “I feel like in a traditional American marriage parents kind of just attend as guests and in a traditional Indian marriage, parents want to be more actively involved in weddings,” Amrit explained. On the show, the cast talks about how in Indian marriages, it’s the marriage of two families, not simply two people.

During the wedding planning throughout season three, there are some difficult conversations between the husbands-to-be and Amrit’s parents. After going through this experience, Amrit also offered some advice for parents saying, “For the parents, my advice would be to give advice when asked. That’s important — your kid, your daughter, your son will come to you if they have a question or if they want your opinion or advice. If they don’t, that means they’re handling it on their own. So maybe just let them run with it. If they’re going to make a mistake, or if they don’t do it how you envisioned it to be, that’s okay because at the end of the day, it’s their wedding.” 

Vishal Parvani and Richa Sardana at their wedding; Photo: Monica Schipper/Bravo

After finally getting married in an elaborate and traditional Indian ceremony, Vishal gets candid about his relationship with Richa, social anxiety, and mental health.

“That’s what we signed up for, we signed up to be as open on this platform as possible because no one wants to watch someone’s life who is perfect because no one is perfect,” Vishal said. “You can see me and Richa, we’re far from perfect but we’re perfect for each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ve experienced so many trials and tribulations throughout these past 10+ years but at the same time we’ve overcome every single one of them and we’re in such a good position because of it.”

Season three shows Vishal taking accountability for a less-than-ideal wedding night and confronting his relationship with alcohol. Vishal opens up about therapy and even suggests that he and Richa go to couples counseling. “I am a strong proponent for therapy — whatever it is to help you. Everyone is going through a lot of things in life. No one’s life is perfect. We all have our stresses. I think, especially in Asian cultures, therapy has not really been looked well upon. Kind of frowned upon. If you’re going to therapy, it was very stigmatized. Parents would always ask, “What’s wrong with you?” It doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with you. Everyone, every couple, should experience therapy. It’s beneficial,” Vishal said.

So in a very organic way, both Amrit and Vishal have found causes for which they can authentically advocate for — same-sex marriage and LGBTQ+ equality and mental health awareness, respectively.

It’s rare to see lifelong friends like Amrit and Vishal, so to wrap up our conversation, I asked each of them to think back to their childhood friendship, and offer advice to one another.

Amrit began first, saying, “I would just tell you to just be honest with me about whatever’s going on in your life. Whether it’s a health issue or a mental health issue you’re dealing with, you can always come to me. There’s never going to be judgment, and don’t be scared to talk to me about whatever’s going on with you.”

“Things are a lot worse in your head than they are said out loud. We can’t tell what’s in store for our life — there’s no path. We may have a plan but it never works out that way. So just go with the flow and it’s not that bad,” Vishal offered.

“I would say, spend your wedding night with your wife,” Amrit said in laughter (watch Season 3, Episode 3).

“Oh my gosh — I tell myself that every day! Spend. My wedding night. With my wife. I wish you did tell me that,” Vishal replied.

Family Karma airs Sunday nights on Bravo TV and you can catch up on all episodes on select streaming services. Season three’s finale airs on Sunday, February 26, 2023.

Parts of this interview have been edited for clarity.